We are seeing in recent months to a disruption of canons of conduct that until a few years ago they were untouchable and no one would dare to question . Today there is an involution of the trend and it seems that young people believe that nothing is denied: even where to get good education requires a different behavior. Racial differences, learning difficulties, physical disabilities are just some of the reasons that induce to undertake violent actions against the weak, whose sole purpose is to establish itself within the group, unaware of the damage and pain it causes in those who the offense suffers.
"Bullying is so widespread and growing, is an unbalanced relationship that expresses the need to assert its dominance over another person deemed to be weaker by the continued use of strength and power, "says Dr. Maria Grazia Apollonius, a psychologist and psychotherapist, founder of the cultural Accse (Association for the development and psychological well-being)." In general - says the psychologist - the bully is an older child and stronger than the victim, and self-esteem derives from this exercise of violence. Power and violence are a way to stay within the r
outside a school
elation. It is also seen that often the families of bullies do not have an authoritative type of educational system, where there is affection and even content, but tend to be permissive, not preventing anything to their children, and are not able to respond authoritatively when limits are exceeded, but behave in a violent and intrusive. "
should be noted that in our society there is a tendency to laxity, that is to never say no, so much to give to the children and not taught to tackle the difficulties. Treat the child as a little prince creates fragility in the face of life's difficulties and inability to cope with them. The children educated in this way do not know the contract and many times the violence is the only effective weapon to have everything under control.
Rarely bullying can be reduced to the dynamics of bully-victim, as the group plays a major role and decisive: it is conspiratorial and does not intervene to stop the mechanism. The reasons are to be found in the fear of becoming victims, and a sort of indifference to meddle. In addition, the victim is perceived as the loser and you do not want to identify with him. "The role of the group - says Dr. Apollonio - makes bullying a social phenomenon that can not be tackled only with the bully or the victim, but also in the whole group of kids that revolve around these two figures. Sometimes group is the defender, who intervened to defend the victim and some research has shown that the defenders have their peculiarities: They are children with good self-esteem, good capacity empathetic and have a good view from the other. So, I'm strong enough to take risks that others avoid. "
The teen-ager living in a society deeply changed in the past. They receive a huge amount of information, but there is no one to help them grow from an emotional point of view, rational and conscience. The family is in crisis and gives more support as it is a structure in which separate the pairs increases, there is sufficient space to support and help their children make the right choices and grow emotionally. It all happens very quickly, too quickly, without having time to linger more action on their child that deserves a more serious and careful consideration.
Bullying is a phenomenon that must be considered as an interaction of several factors, and social classes exists in the poorest and most affluent social strata. You can not blame only the shortcomings of the family, but other factors play a decisive part as this occurs. It should be considered across as an interaction of multiple elements, each of which is important and fundamental.
The media clearly have a significant influence on this phenomenon: sometimes convey a false image of aggression and legitimate violence. In various television programs, the competition is seen as normal, there is no comparison between the participants and the clash is exaggerated until you reach the fight. The message is "I must take precedence over others", in other words, there is a culture of "I" and not "we."
The thing that caused a sensation is that such unjustified acts of violence are free and available to anyone. In fact, connect to the Internet to view the gruesome scenes that, after they were shot by cameras or cell phones, have been dumped in the network and made accessible to everyone. They are violent demonstrations against children, including handicapped, that are used solely to demonstrate its strength. "Undoubtedly - asserts Dr. Apollonius - the violence stems from the assertion, but the interesting thing is that the medium used in these cases seems to act as a filter and be able to justify the act because the actor and performer becomes no more violent person who performs the action thereby releasing any guilt. " "I think - more - this is why acts of bullying are taken with the phone and then put online, making them less real, and the use of the camera is the way cleared of responsibility in committing violent acts and criminal. "
Unfortunately, if the support the family is missing, young people do not have a guide and are forced to choose what they think is right, based on their wealth of knowledge and experience, which often cause serious problems. We can say that if kids develop a lot from a cognitive point of view, given the amount of information to absorb, from a standpoint of personal growth are further back than the past generations. It is a much better one generation, both from the point of view interior and exterior.
The school, which until recently was the place where training was being educated to become adults with the duties to the company and if themselves, has now turned into a place where instruction is given inadequate training and theater events whose objective is to challenge the bans for a long time considered to be unambiguous and compelling. The crisis is manifested by the inability to provide the support necessary to become people capable of making their own choices in a mature and independent. This discomfort occurs both in terms of teaching, given the lack of interest in their subjects, that of bullying
the growth of conscience. Hence the need to implement targeted programs that, in addition to educational content, taking into due consideration the social and emotional education of the young. "Profits can be - says psychologist - So-called programs peer to peer "seeking to engage students by making them responsible for the conduct of their peers or, again, programs that involve older kids in the protection of smaller companies. You can then implement the interventions with the class, based on group discussions and simulation games, which is certainly open to reflection from the space. "
The fundamental reasons for bullying are living in a violent culture of confrontation rather than the comparison, not to receive an education based on cooperation and doing things together, especially the non-respect for others. It seems that everything is possible, even if the means used are not the most orthodox ... and who suffers wrong is one person who should be helped and not humiliated. "This violent conduct - says a teacher in a school in our region who prefers to remain anonymous - express an unease that stems from the need to impose on others and to be considered the strongest. The age of puberty is a sensitive period of life of a young man, where the irresponsibility and ignorance of the consequences of many actions often reign supreme, even pushing to make the dangerous acts for himself and others. "
Adolescence is made up of extremes, of kids who feel desperate and broken down something that contain them. Clash of differentiation entails major challenges, including the increased use of drugs, the lowering of the age as regards alcohol consumption, eating disorders and an alarming suicide rate. Every day we hear about crimes committed by youngsters at the expense of the weak or those who are deemed not to be able to respond adequately to the humiliation.
The figure even more alarming is that not only are their peers to be the object of provocations and insults, but also the teachers themselves are deemed unable to firmly counter the provocations. "The best thing to do - says Dr Apollonius - not indifference, but to see who is stronger and be able to keep up without creating distance, that could upset even more the boy causing him to increase the aggression. The provocative, challenging, expresses a discomfort and bullying is one of the manifestations of this malaise. "" What can be done to stop bullying - he concludes firmly psychologist - is to break the silence, the legitimization of violence and minimization.
Teachers may report to the competent authorities or the court in serious cases, and the victims can report the damage and claim compensation. And if the bully is not punished, compensation is caused by parents or teachers, not responsible for what happens when the children are entrusted to them. The only way to be exonerated from guilt in this case is to demonstrate that the adult was in a position that allowed him to avoid the facts.
Finally, teachers must be involved in training programs including those based on the ability to manage their emotions and deal with conflicts in a class in assertive and authoritative, and to maintain healthy and constructive relationships with students. For the victim, a very important thing is to establish a relationship of trust within the class and the family, where children must reach awareness that can externalize their state of mind and have a dialogue.
A starting point is the comparison
In our society, bullying has taken on worrying dimensions. It is for this reason that the association of Experience Trieste, has launched a project at the Technical Galvani, whose purpose is to give students a shared space, where bullies can voice their anger and their victims shame. From here started the confrontation in which expressions of their experiences and share their emotions.
Dr. Bogatin, president of the Association, maintains that "the comparison is to share the most shameful parts of the self, and what disrupts the mechanism of bullying and abuse is to identify with the victims, establishing a real emotional contact with what's happening in those involved in this kind of dynamics. "" What we have seen - he adds Bogatin - is that we managed to have substantial openings from the boys even more aggressive and those who demonstrated selfless. During the meetings, family stories came out heavy and cumbersome to manage, racial discrimination, the themes of Italian-made class were a useful response. The result was good and we could also talk about difficult topics. "
The final product will be type of spot advertising-progress that will own this issue as an argument, namely the conflict between rights and duties, the offense, the search for thrills.
